VIDEO | Gino Cecchettin: “Giulia, symbol of the fight against feminicide, we have a duty to be happy”
Giulia's father presented the book written together with Marco Franzoso at the Turin International Book Fair
TURIN – Giulia was 22 years old, she was a young woman full of dreams but she was killed by a boy who said he loved her. Elena, her sister, understood the nature of what had happened and Giulia has since then become the symbol of feminicide. From that moment on, the demonstration on November 25th, for the elimination of violence against women, turned into a wave of noise: thousands walked through the streets of Rome, together with high school students and all those women who started to find the courage to report the mistreatment suffered in the family.
“Giulia was a bringer of added value and I was inspired by her for everything that came after. She denied the violence underneath any form, especially the verbal one. I have lived her value for 22 years and I think that in one week the Italians understood who Giulia is and for this reason she went from a good person to the symbol of the fight against femicide and made herself heard so much. “. At the Turin International Book Fair, in the Blue Room of Pavilion 3, Gino Cecchettin, Giulia’s father, spoke to present the book written together with Marco Franzoso: ‘Dear Giulia. What I learned from my daughter‘ (Rizzoli). “It’s sad to say it – he admits in front of the room full of people – but life continues undaunted and we must try to be happy despite what happened to me. I will always have Giulia in my heart, but I have two other children and I must guarantee them a future of serenity and success. I thank those who are with me”.
The pain experienced by Giulia’s father remains “strong and pervasive throughout life and in every moment of life, but I know that the day is made up of many small moments and one cannot live on pain alone. I am able to separate when it’s the time to enter into the pain and go through it all and when you have to dedicate yourself to something else – he explains – to work, to family and to friends. I felt so close, I received so many messages that make me feel how far Giulia has come to all Italians. Those are messages of hope”.
Gino Cecchettin has chosen to look forward. His is “the fortune and misfortune of being strong. Smelling the scent of his clothes makes me strong and stable – he says – because I know that only by going through certain moments, with the scar on your skin, can you go further. The day has already arrived moment in which as a family, with Elena, we talk about Giulia with a smile We will miss her forever because she brought us joy. I remember some words, like ‘specciare’ which comes from peel, which we used to pronounce she made a funny, amazed face, and there are hundreds of examples like that. We laugh and when you remember a loved one with a smile it means you’re on the right path and I’m pleased with this because I see the kids. that despite the loss of a sister they are strong and move forwardThis is a message of hope that I like to share – says Gino Cecchettin – we all have a small or large story of pain in our lives, but we don’t have to. sinking, it must not annihilate us, we should use this story of pain as a springboard to project ourselves forward for our loved ones. Crying a daughter is something terrible, I would never have imagined it, but I will never stop saying ‘have hope’ like I am having as I exploit the pain to have more strength. I don’t know how it’s done, it’s an empirical thing that comes naturally. A training that requires a lot of spirit, but if I can do it, others can do it too”.
The book represented “a continuation of our life. In those days I was looking for contact with Giulia in every way, I knew she would no longer be in my life. All the unsaid things, all the words, the hugs, everything that a father would like to give to his daughter and can no longer do so.” This book sheds light, it talks about beauty. “I had someone who advised me to write to process the pain– continues the parent- I wouldn’t have done it immediately if Marco hadn’t rang at my door one day. Dozens of people knocked on my door to bring comfort. Many writers came forward, but I asked Marco why he wanted to write Giulia’s story and listening to him I decided that I would do it with him. Rizzoli then stepped forward and, having given the word, we did it. It was a great story by Giulia that did me good and bad. Many hours spent remembering her to put me back in touch with her“.
This absurd and painful story happened a few kilometers from Franzoso‘s home. “I stopped in front of the mass of flowers, I met the people who showed a discreet pain and I felt a very strong emotion in seeing Giulia’s face. I needed to tell this story – continues Franzoso – I can’t experience it like a book , a narrative, for me it is a witness, a bridge launched into the world I wanted to enter into the sensitivity of a father. I asked myself: where have we adults gone wrong? Why don’t we intercept what is happening in our children? >”. So the two men began to dig into the sensitivity of the fathers: from listening to the adult generation to the urgency of reconciliation with the needs of the children. “I found a father who keeps telling me ‘my children have the right to be happy. I can’t collapse, I have two paths in front of me: throw everything away or build a possibility so that my children can try to be happy’. This it was also what Giulia wanted, to believe in the future I have found a family that is trying to turn what happened into a project, so that similar events never happen again“. The book was therefore a way to “transform pain into a project, to believe in the possibility of building a better world – underlines Cecchettin – we have a moral duty to try for our children to build a world that is better than this”. READ ALSO: Graduation in memory of Giulia Cecchettin, the father: “Deserved milestone, but I can’t be happy” “There is a 20 month difference between Elena and Giulia, they grew up together in the same room for 22 years sharing everything. She has a privileged point of view and with incredible clarity she immediately analyzed what had happened to her sister”, says Gino Cecchettin, during the presentation of the text ‘written together with Marco Franzoso: ‘Dear Giulia. What I learned from my daughter’ (Rizzoli). Unfortunately, according to the latest research by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC) and UN Women, there are 89 thousand feminicides in the world: 243 per day, 10 per hour, one every 5 minutes. The father told Giulia “to peremptorily end the relationship with Filippo. I know men, they form certain ideas, they keep hope alive. I told Giulia to give a clear signal that the story was over. She felt guilty and was afraid that he would hurt himself. He had transferred this message to us a little. Then in the first hours of research, as a parent I understood perhaps a little in advance how it had gone. I was hoping for an accident – he says – but when a parent hopes for an accident we are in a paradox.” Filippo, according to Cecchettin, “should have accepted Giulia’s no and would probably have found another love, a greater love, and would spend the next few years with this love instead of in the place where he is now. This is perhaps the lesson that Filippo is giving”.
And to those who attacked him for having written a book, the father responds with the teachings received from his daughter: “From Giulia I learned to be kind and a little less alpha male. I learned that sometimes there’s no point in arguing with those who don’t value you, it’s better to let their words slide over you. Elena now lives in Vienna.” . While they were writing “this book, they kept thinking about what Giulia would have written, she would have reacted with grace. Gino has suffered many attacks and so have I – Franzoso underlines – they make noise but there is a much longer wave: 15 thousand silent people were present at Giulia’s funeral. The great mass of people understood and are wondering – he says in conclusion – in the latest presentations of the book we have seen many men and above all many 17-18 year olds asking us what they can do. do personally to improve things
“I WILL SUPPORT ELENA IN THE FIGHT AS LONG AS I CAN”
“We talked about it as a family, I asked her: ‘Why did you bring up the word patriarchy? What does it have to do with it? He freaked out’, but she replied ‘no dad’. Since I am a scientific man – recalls Cecchettin – I don’t skimp on reading up, so I took the dictionary and went to look at the entry patriarchy. And I understood that this word embodies a set of behaviors that lead to attitudes of abuse by men towards women, often violent, which limit their freedom. It means that if a woman wants to drink coffee with her friends and her partner/husband says no, this is patriarchy. Giulia was denied the chance to be free. Elena is right and I will support her in her fight, even if we have different points of view on some issues, but I will support her as much as I can“.
Cecchettin and Franzoso’s book says nothing about Giulia’s murderer. “A choice made together – adds Franzoso – because these stories must be told from the side of the victims and not of the executioner. I’m interested in women who suffer violence and I don’t want to give a word to these men”, he concludes.
Gino Cecchettin, to do something for others and not lose Giulia’s value, created the Giulia Foundation > to help associations against gender violence and create a team of experts who can give lessons in high schools and middle schools “It should be set up just after the summer – he concludes – a landing page already exists: Fondazionegiulia.org”.